


The Magnificent Adventures of the Namikaze Three

by The_Furthest_City_Light



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Fuuinjutsu, Gen, Humor, I don't know it was a surprise to me, I guess there's plot?, It's supposed to be lighthearted dammit, Not A Fix-It, literally everyone shows up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 16:56:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6666727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Furthest_City_Light/pseuds/The_Furthest_City_Light
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kushina and Minato didn't die the night Naruto was born. Kurama still ended up in Naruto's belly. Shenanigans ensue. In the end, having a family from the get-go makes all the difference in the world, and at the same time, some things just don't change. </p><p>Violence is no greater than the Anime/Manga, seriously, not a fix-it fic</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Magnificent Adventures of the Namikaze Three

The events surrounding Naruto's birth can pretty much be summarized as follows:

The masked man succeeded in separating Minato from the labor-and-melting-seal-weakened Kushina, long enough to extract the Kyuubi and set it on the village. After getting his family to a safe place, Minato immediately turned his attention to the village.

…only to find out Jiraiya and Sandaime pretty much had it handled.

He was about to join them anyway, when the masked man—Madara?—attacked him. It was a short, difficult battle that ended unsatisfactorily and with a dire warning: the world was on the precipice of a deadly fall to chaos and evil.

There was a moment there, right after their skirmish ended, where Minato experienced something he never had before, and something he'd never, ever believe in again.

There, in the aftermath of a truncated, confusing battle in which Minato was put in the very unfamiliar position of feeling two steps behind, Namikaze Minato, Yondaime Hokage, had a vision.

Actually, to call it a vision might be an exaggeration. It was more…a feeling, and an image—that of a brilliant sun of a child, who stood against evil in spite of his pain, and inspired others to follow him into victory. A child the world followed, sharing in his pain and believing in his spirit. The image in his mind was accompanied by one of the most intense sensations of righteousness and profound surety that he'd ever experienced.

Naruto was that child. He knew it like he knew the sun would rise tomorrow and the moon would follow in the night.

And he became sure of what he'd have to do, as well. Naruto needed power to complete that vision. To counteract forces like the masked man, who would undoubtedly return. To protect himself. Minato knew of one surefire way to make sure Naruto would always have that power, when he was ready and willing to use it.

Jinchurriki, or living sacrifice, was an apt title for the containers of a tailed beast. They forfeited their lives and sometimes their minds in the interests of political balance. They were, often enough, the most important individual(s) in any village, including the kage. They kept the peace, and offered their entire beings in pursuit of it.

Of course, there was a trade-off to be had here. There were stories from the other villages, of Jinchurriki controlling their beasts, using the power they'd been burdened with and making it their own. It had never been done in Konoha, not that there had been any attempts. They simply didn't know where to begin, and they didn't want to take the chance of failure. Naruto would have to learn.

As his son and as an Uzumaki, Naruto was genetically predisposed to being a formidable ninja regardless. He knew from prenatal checkups that Naruto had inherited his mother's preternaturally large chakra reserves. But add that to the controlled and channeled power of the Kyuubi? Well.

Minato wouldn't want to go against him.

Besides, they needed to do _something _about the Kyuubi. And Naruto was really the only viable option at the moment—he was the only one who could possibly contain it.__

__It was with these thoughts that Minato flashed to the battlefield his village had become._ _

__…Except, it didn't really look like an _active _battlefield, anymore.___ _

____Some fires were still burning, many buildings were obviously destroyed and well beyond repair. People were dead. But no further damage was being done._ _ _ _

____Then he felt the enormous wave of chakra, beyond the Eastern mountains, and he started flashing his way toward it._ _ _ _

____That was where his family was._ _ _ _

____He went for the house. Kushina was up, tired and weak as she was, and had the baby in her arms._ _ _ _

____"Minato what—"_ _ _ _

____Minato didn't give her the chance to finish talking—an offence that normally would have earned him at least a bruising punch to the chest or arm or stomach or wherever she could reach. He grabbed her and flashed to the next hill._ _ _ _

____Just in time, too. Their house was immediately incinerated as a bijuu-damma seared through its frame and the surrounding earth._ _ _ _

____Minato looked up, gritting his teeth. Jiraiya-sensei and Sandaime obviously managed to get the beast away from the village, but didn't seem to have quite squared the thing away yet. It was tearing down mountains. Hell, the thing was so massive even Gamabunta was struggling with it. The Sandaime was firing jutsu after restraining jutsu at it, and it was barely slowing down. The absolute malevolence and hatred radiating from the beast…it was the worst killing intent he'd ever encountered. And that was saying something. Naruto, precociously, was wailing in the face of it._ _ _ _

____Minato used his own chakra to shield him a little while he considered what they should do._ _ _ _

____There were…very, very few seals that would allow him to contain such a monster—let alone seal it into a baby. And most of them required massive amounts of time to get right._ _ _ _

____But…there might be one._ _ _ _

____A petrification seal required three immensely powerful people—kage level _at least _—to work properly. The basic gist was that the chakra replicated what Kushina's chains did, and temporarily rendered immensely powerful beings unable to move for a period of time—at least an hour or two, usually. In the case of the Kyuubi, and considering the chakra levels of Minato, Jiraiya and the Sandaime, he guessed it would probably be closer to forty minutes or so. But because it wasn't a constant drain on his faculties, it would enable them to make the necessary preparations to seal the Kyuubi into Naruto.___ _ _ _

______The only drawback? One of the three had to die to sustain it. Only a complete surrendering of a life force was powerful enough to contain the type of things this seal was designed for._ _ _ _ _ _

______Minato knew it would have to be him._ _ _ _ _ _

______He set Kushina, still holding their baby, down away from the fight. She wished him luck and protected Naruto, wrapping the screaming newborn in her arms as best she could. He nodded, letting them fill his vision for the very last time, knowing she would understand, and knowing she would still hate him for it. He kissed her forehead impulsively. She jerked up, eyes suspicious, and her mouth moved to form his name._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Take care of Naruto," he said, and threw his last remaining kunai next to his sensei's feet with a chakra-enhanced throw. He flashed to them and began to relate his plan to them._ _ _ _ _ _

______It was difficult, dodging the Kyuubi's attacks while attacking in turn, and all the while trying to hold a conversation. The Kyuubi's chakra was infinite—something that would be both astonishing and brilliant in another life. He wished he would be around to see his son wield this power. His son, his beautiful son, who he'd only known mere hours…_ _ _ _ _ _

______But no. He was the Hokage. The shadow of the flame—the breath behind the Will of Fire._ _ _ _ _ _

______Of course, that reasoning did not stand up to Jiraiya, who was less than amused, and immediately offered himself in Minato's place._ _ _ _ _ _

______He replied with a veritable shout, trying to be heard over the roars of the beast they were battling. "I am the Hokage, sensei. It's my duty, and my pleasure."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Jiraiya very obviously didn't agree, but before he could argue further the Kyuubi smashed one of its massive tails down between them, scattering the ninja, ironically, to the perfect position to start the jutsu._ _ _ _ _ _

______"On my mark!" Yelled Minato, not giving in to the desire to think about his family, his beautiful wife, his perfect child, who looked like him. No, he would not look to them. "One—two—Sandaime no!"_ _ _ _ _ _

______At the very last possible second, Sarutobi Hiruzen began the sequence of hand signs first and made himself the focal point of the jutsu._ _ _ _ _ _

______He also made himself the one the jutsu would kill._ _ _ _ _ _

______"You have a life to live, Minato. A son to raise. My wife is dead. My children are grown. And the village needs a young, capable Hokage to lead them—not some old geezer like me."_ _ _ _ _ _

______He paused, and Minato got over his shock enough to complete the sequence of hand-seals._ _ _ _ _ _

______Jiraiya said nothing, but followed Minato's example. If they hadn't, Sandaime's sacrifice would have been utterly pointless._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I was the only Hokage to retire, rather than die for the village. I'm actually rather glad I won't carry that particular title with me."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Minato felt the inexorable drain on his chakra as the jutsu took effect, and bowed his head as the Sandaime fell._ _ _ _ _ _

..........  
They used an eight tetragram seal. Sort of.

Kushina berated him initially for trying to sacrifice himself, but she knew of the time constraints and simply gave him a look that said they would be _talking _later. Her fury made it even more difficult to convince her to let Naruto be used as the new Jinchurriki, but eventually she recognized that she would not survive the resealing of the Kyuubi, and that Konoha desperately needed the balance of power to remain intact considering the state of the village.__

__Still, Minato was fairly certain that she only agreed because she knew how to help Naruto through it, and they could ensure that he would be honored as a hero. They would be able to fill him up with love every day of his life._ _

__Five minutes after the Sandaime sacrificed himself, they decided on a seal and began to work._ _

__The seal was devised by Kushina, of course. It was based in the eight tetragram design, but with about ten thousand modifiers and adjustments to account for the impossible mass of chakra that was the Kyuubi. It would expand and fluctuate and change in conjunction with the Kyuubi's chakra output. The eight tetragram seal was what would regulate the chakra flow, and protect Naruto's body and sanity._ _

__On top of that, however, was a sixty-four-part interlocking sequence of the craziest barrier seal Minato had ever seen. Actually, he wasn't even sure it could be called a barrier seal since it had about sixteen other functions. Once activated, it would capture and redirect the Kyuubi's chakra into the central seal and any excess would be re-purposed to power the eight tetragrams. When Naruto was older, and ready to use the chakra, he could manipulate it to redirect into his own chakra system, expanding and contracting in time with his needs._ _

__It was ingenious, and only something an Uzumaki could have designed, much less pulled off._ _

__It took ten minutes to finish the sealing array, Jiraiya and Kushina working on the design and the altar together, while Minato held his child._ _

__Minato was considered a master of the sealing arts, but he had nothing on Jiraiya and to think he was on par with Kushina was downright laughable._ _

__Speaking of, Kushina was looking worse and worse as time went on. The dreadful bags under her eyes were like bruises, and her pale face under the dirt was like a ghost's. She mostly hung back and directed Jiraiya as he painted the complex, original seal over the altar, and knelt on her hands and knees, unable to really move. Worry coursed through Minato at the sight of her, and hovered behind her, gently resting a hand on her back in support. According to all his previous information, Kushina shouldn't even be alive right now. She should have died upon having the Kyuubi removed. The fact that she was not only alive but conscious was something he couldn't explain._ _

__…It was also the only thing keeping him from panicking entirely about his wife. Surely the fact that she was conscious was a good sign? That she wasn't as doomed as he'd suspected her to be?_ _

__There was nothing to be done until the sealing array was finished. He would get her to a healer when the demon was sealed away. _He would _.___ _

____Finally, thirty minutes after the Petrification Jutsu was enacted, the seal was ready._ _ _ _

____Kushina promptly passed out upon completion, only her Uzumaki heritage and sheer determination keeping her upright thus far._ _ _ _

____Jiraiya caught her gently by the shoulders, preventing her from hitting the dirt. Minato had to stifle a melancholy, anxiety ridden burst of amusement at the thought of what she would say about his hands on her person if she were conscious._ _ _ _

____"Tsunade is probably in town right now. She was only about ten miles away earlier this evening. I'll take her there."_ _ _ _

____Minato nodded, knowing that even Jiraiya wasn't stupid enough to feel up his just-pregnant wife after she'd passed out. If Kushina didn't rip him limb from limb afterword, Minato would._ _ _ _

____Naruto let out a cry, like he knew his mother was in trouble._ _ _ _

____Minato remembered the almost eerie connection Kushina shared with the baby early on—one he'd discovered through copious use of chakra probe—and had to wonder if that was the absolute truth._ _ _ _

____Minato awkwardly jiggled the baby, so tiny and fragile in his arms, and tried to comfort him._ _ _ _

____"Shh…Naruto it's alright…Mommy's going to be fine…she's just tired right now…shh, shh…"_ _ _ _

____Minato hoped that he was telling the truth._ _ _ _

____Thirty-three minutes after Petrification, the seal began to crack._ _ _ _

____Minato hastily set the precious child down upon the altar, the child screaming loudly in protest at his present situation, a child only hours old ready to be sacrificed._ _ _ _

____His child._ _ _ _

____His village._ _ _ _

____Minato waited._ _ _ _

____Thirty-six minutes after sealing, the Petrification array was mostly disintegrated. The kyuubi shook in his bonds, railing against the last vestiges of chakra holding him in place._ _ _ _

____He waited thirty more seconds, tense, as his baby screamed and wailed in fear and confusion and probably against the indignity of the October chill, but he held steady, murmuring gentle comforts and promises to the child._ _ _ _

____All he had to do was pour his chakra into the seal, this powerful, ingenious seal devised by his brilliant, nearly-dead wife, and everyone would be safe._ _ _ _

____But he had to wait._ _ _ _

____The monster shook and roared in rage, the incarnation of hate itself, finally breaking the very last of the bonds he'd been subjected to._ _ _ _

____The beast took a single look at the altar, screamed again in fury, and lunged for his baby with one of his massive claws._ _ _ _

_______Minato activated the seal._  
..........  
The Yondaime Hokage caught up with Jiraiya in the hospital, one of the only buildings in the village to remain completely intact due to the decades and decades of protective seals and barriers embedded into its skin. He met his sensei with worried eyes and a new Jinchurriki in his arms. 

____"So it's done?" Jiraiya asked rather unnecessarily. They both knew Minato wouldn't be there if it wasn't. "Can I hold my godson?"_ _ _ _

____Minato handed the baby over carefully. Naruto had calmed down some since having the Kyuubi sealed inside him, an exquisitely painful experience Minato was glad Naruto wouldn't remember, and was generally a much happier baby now that he wasn't freezing in the open air, cozily bundled in the lower half of Minato's haori and his trauma over for the night._ _ _ _

____"How's Kushina? Did you find Tsunade?"_ _ _ _

____Jiraiya nodded. "Yup. She was already working to heal the wounded when I brought her Kushina. She thinks she can be saved, maybe, but only because she's an Uzumaki, and her life-force is very…resilient. If anyone else went through what she's been through, well…"_ _ _ _

____Minato nodded. This just reinforced what he'd already known—Kushina was easily the strongest person he knew. He'd expected it would be a slim chance for survival, but a chance was all Kushina really needed._ _ _ _

____Didn't help him stop worrying though._ _ _ _

____"Kami this kid looks like you. I wonder if he'll take after you in personality as well…?"_ _ _ _

____Minato shrugged. Personally he thought Naruto's lung capacity indicated he would be more inclined to take after Kushina in that department, but he didn't say anything._ _ _ _

____He smiled at his baby, his wonderful, beautiful child. They would have to see if Tsunade would look at him after she was done with Kushina. He was pretty sure the sealing went alright, but he wanted to make sure Naruto would be okay physically. It was an untested seal after all, and though it couldn't have been designed by anyone more skilled, there was always the possibility of an unseen ramification._ _ _ _

____An assistant, short dark hair and dark eyes, a teenage girl he vaguely knew as Shizune, burst through the door then, and Minato became tense. At a maximum, Tsunade only could have worked with Kushina for half an hour, assuming Jiraiya found her immediately and she immediately started working on her, on the way to the room even and—_ _ _ _

____Naruto let out a loud and indignant wail at being woken from his nap for the umpteenth time that night, and Jiraiya immediately, and predictably, returned the kid to Minato._ _ _ _

____"Hokage-sama, Kushina-sama is awake and asking for you and…ramen, I think?" The poor, harassed Shizune looked to be at a loss about the whole issue of Kushina._ _ _ _

____Jiraiya let out a snort and Minato smirked half-heartedly, worry constricting his amusement. His wife was awake, that could only be a good thing, right? His wife, his wife, his beautiful, Red Habanero wanted him and was awake._ _ _ _

____"Come quickly please, she's rather…agitated."_ _ _ _

____Well that was a normal state for Kushina, but considering the incredible strain of the night he could see why the medical staff was worried._ _ _ _

____He followed the girl into the back, Naruto in his arms._ _ _ _

____They went to a room all the way in the back of the hospital, away from most of the other staff and many uncontrolled or weak chakra signatures._ _ _ _

____A passing thought crossed his mind that for even a halfway-decent sensor shinobi, like Kushina, this place must be an absolute nightmare trying to sort through what with all the death and anger and pain floating around._ _ _ _

____Finally they entered a room prepped for surgery, and Minato felt the sterilization seals wash over him as he crossed the threshold._ _ _ _

____Naruto must have as well, because he started crying at the fizzing sensation._ _ _ _

____"Minato so help me if you don't shut that baby up there will be consequences!" A blonde woman deceptively appearing to be in her late twenties hovered over his wife's midsection, hands cloaked in green healing chakra and eyebrows creased in concentration as she conducted surgery._ _ _ _

____Her job was not made easier by the groggy but undeniably awake patient._ _ _ _

____"Don't talk to my boys like that!" Kushina objected, although her irritation was lacking its usual presence considering her current state._ _ _ _

____Minato shushed the baby, walking over to his ailing wife._ _ _ _

____"It's alright Kushina, Tsunade and Shizune are just trying to do their jobs. Naruto really is quite loud you know." He held the baby out to her, and as her groggy eyes lighted on the child, she relaxed._ _ _ _

____Out of the corner of his eye, Minato saw Tsunade relax as well._ _ _ _

____"My baby, my poor baby, little Naru-chan…" Kushina cooed. Her eyes were glassy and Minato got the feeling she was somewhat out of it._ _ _ _

____Actually, it was kind of ridiculous that she was awake at this point at all, so that made perfect sense._ _ _ _

____"Why not just knock her out?" He asked, honestly curious about why she was being left awake._ _ _ _

____He rested a hand on top of her head and started running his fingers through her hair. Her eyes flicked to him for a second. She blinked in recognition, and then went back to the baby._ _ _ _

____"Finally," Tsunade muttered. The bad tempered woman seemed rather relieved to have Kushina focused on something. "She's been fighting us this whole time. We had to let her wake up because of it, but then she shut us out completely. I'm not sure _how _, exactly, but I blame the Uzumaki penchant for making life difficult."___ _ _ _

______Minato wanted to comment on that, considering that Tsunade herself was descended from the Uzumaki, but thought better of it._ _ _ _ _ _

______One does not fight the hand that feeds, after all._ _ _ _ _ _

______Suddenly, both medics grit their teeth. Kushina gasped in pain and her eyes rolled up in her head before she passed out again._ _ _ _ _ _

______Minato snapped his eyes up to the ninja operating bloodlessly on his wife._ _ _ _ _ _

______"What happened," He demanded._ _ _ _ _ _

______Shizune answered, the teenager more susceptible to the demands of the Hokage than her mentor. "Her chakra system just went into shock. A little late in coming, but not really unexpected…"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Despite its…expected nature, Shizune sounded worried._ _ _ _ _ _

______Minato gripped the bed sheet next to his wife's head, recognizing that he had no ability to help here, and tried not to let his helplessness eat him alive._ _ _ _ _ _

______In pursuit of that effort, he focused on his baby, crooked in his left arm. Minato was as close to Kushina as he could be without actually being on the bed, kind of curled around her head, and the baby was nestled into her neck. To his surprise, Naruto had his eyes open, wide and blue and utterly, utterly innocent, and seemed strangely focused on Kushina._ _ _ _ _ _

______Minato remembered that eerie mother/son connection, probably only strengthened by the experience of being a Jinchurriki, and accepted the oddity._ _ _ _ _ _

______Newborns typically didn't…focus._ _ _ _ _ _

______It was a bit creepy actually._ _ _ _ _ _

______He heard Tsunade and Shizune speaking in rapid-fire medical jargon behind him, knew that something bad was happening, something they couldn't stop, and tried to focus on the baby._ _ _ _ _ _

______Naruto, for all that his name meant maelstrom, was a calming presence even as his world fell apart._ _ _ _ _ _

______He kissed his wife on the crown of her head, at the roots of her beautiful red hair, careful not to squish the baby._ _ _ _ _ _

_______Please Kushina, fight. Just a little longer, and you'll be saved. Naruto needs you, love. We both do, but especially him. Fight. Please. ____ _ _ _ _ _

________When he pulled back, he noticed Naruto had something in his pudgy, grasping hands._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It was a thick strand of Kushina's fiery hair._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He barely had time to consider this before he felt a flash of…something._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________Was his newborn son molding chakra? ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________No, not that, but he was doing…something. Something unexpected._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Minato looked with his chakra senses, and felt his jaw nearly drop in surprise._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Naruto wasn't molding chakra, but the kyuubi was sending pulses of it out, from the seal, through Naruto, and into Kushina._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________A connection forged through Kushina's long strands of hair._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Minato knew Kushina had a special connection to her hair. To her it was a symbol of their relationship and a source of familial pride—a physical marker of her Uzumaki heritage, a genetic link to an extinct clan. It was, therefore, filled with an excess of spiritual energy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________It was a perfect link to the rest of her body._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Minato heard, vaguely, and as if from a great distance, exclamations of surprise from both women trying to save his wife's life._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Kushina was healing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Minato didn't know how it was possible, and he certainly didn't know why the Kyuubi was helping his old prison, but he did know that it was working, and he didn't dare breathe for fear that whatever was happening would stop before Kushina was healed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Kushina told him, back when they were genin, that she had a healing factor—that there wasn't an injury she hadn't been able to heal herself. At the time, he believed it to be a kekkei genkai. Much later, he found out it was actually the Kyuubi doing the healing, mostly as an unconscious effort to protect itself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________It would seem that the same healing ability was flowing from Naruto into his wife. It was chakra poisoned with hate, painful and impossible to suffer under for anyone else, but it was chakra she was accustomed to, nonetheless._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________And Naruto, Minato was sure, with his overdeveloped, ridiculous Uzumaki reserves, and being somehow capable of feats that should be impossible, was entirely responsible for it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Tsunade and Shizune soon realized where the foreign chakra was coming from. It would be hard to miss, considering the fact that Naruto's hand and Kushina's whole body were glowing at this point._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Tsunade's eyebrows were raised in surprise, but her gaze was as sharp as ever. Her eyes shifted between mother and son all of twice before she made the connection, her mouth thinning and eyes narrowing further in realization._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Minato knew what she'd say before she opened her mouth. "He's the new Jinchurriki, huh? That's cold, Namikaze, subjecting your own child to that."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Shizune gasped—either at surprise for her mentor's boldness or at Naruto's new status, Minato wasn't sure._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Minato ignored it and responded diplomatically. "There wasn't much choice. But it does seem to be the right one, if this is anything to go by."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Tsunade growled and threw a scalpel into the wall._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Actually she threw it through the wall._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Eh, that wall faced the hospital's exterior anyway. It wasn't going to hit anyone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Probably._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"This is why I left. This village uses people—especially children—who don't know any better. Who can't really make the right decisions for themselves."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Shizune stepped toward the Slug Queen. "Tsunade-sama—"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"No, Shizune! Do you understand what a Jinchurriki is? The Hokage has risked his son's _everything _by doing this. A baby—just a baby—who didn't have much choice in the matter, who's only fault was being born to parents willing to do this to him!"___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Minato narrowed his eyes at the suggestion, but was too much a politician to argue with her. He knew how he felt about Naruto and Kushina. Kushina knew already, and he would raise Naruto to know exactly how precious he was. Tsunade's accusations could do nothing to change those things._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Shizune, to his surprise, showed more spine than he'd credited her with and argued for him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Tsunade!"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Now Tsunade looked well and truly surprised. Minato couldn't blame her. If Kakashi yelled at him like that he'd start to reevaluate too._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________It didn't seem to take though. Her gaze narrowed quickly, her shoulders stiffened._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"You're all fools."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________And she walked out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Shizune sighed, and let her shoulders drop, her voice weary when she muttered, "Sometimes I wonder about her."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Minato assumed that wasn't really a sentence meant for him to hear, and absentmindedly tried to stroke his wife's hair, before being repelled by the chakra surrounding her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Shizune turned around, apparently sensing his surprise. "Yes—I'm afraid there's not much we can do for her at the moment. Your son seems to be taking care of it though."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Minato nodded and smiled at their baby, their wonderful little baby. "Yes, he most certainly does. Kushina will be so proud when she wakes up."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________And she _would _wake up. Obviously whatever was happening was improving her health—she wasn't nearly as pale, and her fingers were twitching, as if in sleep. And then she'd coo over Naruto and he'd get to work rebuilding their house.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Actually, he'd get to work rebuilding the whole village. He was already wincing at the amount of paperwork he'd need to do. Probably a mass funeral as well, for the fallen. He'd need to get the engravers to carve more names in the stone. They'd need to rebuild infrastructure. Lots of infrastructure._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Maybe he'd just have a village-wide D-rank week and have everyone who wasn't special Jounin or higher rebuild the village?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________That was probably an abuse of power._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Eh, Kushina would love him anyway._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Plus he couldn't imagine her being happy about raising Naruto out of the Hokage tower._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Actually, yeah, the temper tantrum she'd throw if perpetually denied a crib probably justified the whole thing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"Good job Naruto," he muttered to the baby, whose eyelids were beginning to droop, "you're doing such a good job healing mommy like this…"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"His name is Naruto?" Shizune asked from the other side of Kushina's bed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Minato smiled proudly. Naruto would probably grow up with the embarrassing side—effect of having his parents call him a fishcake all the time, but Minato loved the name dearly. It was a gift from his mentor, after all, to his son._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He was about to answer in the affirmative when the chakra cloak around Kushina and Naruto stopped, and the latter opened her eyes tiredly to the sight of her son and husband curled around her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________She smiled a brilliant smile, one Minato matched, one of shared relief and utter joy and complete disbelief that they'd not only survived but now had a wonderful, wonderful future ahead to raise a beautiful child._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"There's my little fishcake!" For all her exhaustion she said it enthusiastically, unknowingly confirming his suspicion about what would probably be Naruto's biggest pet-peeve between the ages of seven and fourteen._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Minato feigned hurt. "I'm here too you know."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Kushina rolled her eyes half-heartedly. She was obviously just barely holding on to consciousness._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"You're not nearly as cute," She decided. Minato pouted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________It was such a beautiful moment, the kind that they should have had immediately after Naruto's birth. Kushina, a new mother, exhausted but happy and healthy. Minato, proud and bursting with joy at the prospect of parenthood and the prospect of sharing his life with one more person, of passing on the Will of Fire. And finally, Naruto, an innocent, unsuspecting child with a great destiny ahead, warm in the blanket of his parents' love. They may have taken a rather unexpected, dangerous road to get to this warm place, but they made it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Shizune, hands aglow with healing chakra, and slowly working her way through Kushina's internal organs and chakra network to check for inconsistencies, exclaimed suddenly, "So _that's _why she was asking for ramen!"___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________It seemed as good a start as any._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _  
_ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are probably several formatting issues in this. It's my first time using the html style, and I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing. If you have suggestions (like how on earth you get the footnote bar without screwing up an entire section) by all means let me know.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N
> 
> So, to be honest, I have no idea if I'm going to continue this or not. My general rule is that I have to write 6 chapters over the course of a month before posting anything. I have a page and a half written for chapter two, but that's about it. I just felt like posting it because I liked it.
> 
> Basically, it's supposed to be my attempt at writing a humor piece. This chapter was kind of the exception since it sets up the entire thing and takes place during one of the bloodier moments in the series, but I'm hoping I'll be able to pull through and develop a more humor-centric fic. Of course, I have developing plot bunnies in my head which are most certainly not humorous, but I think I'll be able to pull it off.
> 
> There are some key plot issues set up in this prologue, and much was left unexplained for a reason. Don't worry, I'm going to explain it later. If it's been five chapters and I haven't even mentioned something you're curious about, by all means ask. But yeah, in general most of your questions should be explained later on. Assuming I get there.
> 
> However, there are a couple things I'll address really quick because I'll probably not have a great place to put them later on.
> 
> About Minato sealing all of Kyuubi into Naruto: obviously, Kurama was fully sealed into both Mito and Kushina, so it is possible to do it. I can think of two reasons why, in cannon, Minato could only seal half into Naruto. One is that Naruto was simply too young, didn't have enough chakra, etcetera etcetera. So he put half in Naruto and sealed the other half inside the Shinigami's stomach with him. The other reason is that they simply didn't have the time to develop a seal capable of working specifically with Naruto and his unique traits. He doesn't have the same chakra abilities as Kushina or Karin-at no point does Naruto sprout giant glowing chains-so even though he's got the Uzumaki reserves, the same seal won't work with both Naruto and his mother. That would take time they just didn't have in cannon, so Minato could only seal half of it away.
> 
> Obviously, that second theory is what I went with in this fic, and to rectify that I gave them time to formulate a seal. Yay. Everybody wins. Sort of.
> 
> Kushina also didn't die because of reasons that will be explained later. Probably. Maybe.
> 
> Tsunade, I have decided, is okay healing people as long as it does not involve blood. In this story she does have hemophilia right now, but she has developed the ability to operate without cutting people open or shedding blood, so she can heal. I mean we know Sakura has the ability to literally pull physical elements inside the body out through the skin so I don't think it's too crazy. (Also, someone should weaponize that power. Except it'd probably be too similar to Magneto. Darn it.)
> 
> Enough rambling then. Thank you for reading, and I would love to hear your reviews!


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